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"He rolled over and began to close his eyes to go back to sleep, when he inadvertently noticed the time. The grandfather clock in the corner read eleven o'clock."Merde, I am late!"He swore and sprang to a sitting position. Leaning forward, he placed his face in his cupped hands."What a wonderfully amazing dream. It seemed so real! I have taken leave of my senses. How could I ever imagine that a woman as beautiful as Christine would ever consent to marriage with a..."His jumbled thoughts suddenly halted as he took note of his current state of undress."What the hell?" Erik? Mon amour, what ever are you doing? Come back in bed with me."The husky voice purred from behind him."Christine?" Erik? You shall catch your death sitting there like that ... not that I do not appreciate the view, but truly, the air is chilled and my arms await you, mon ange chéri de mon coeur secret."It was at that moment that he saw the golden glint on his left hand and realized the truth of the previous night."Mon. It wasn’t a big deal to me but my wife wasn’t happy with her weight at this time. She found it increasingly difficult to lose the weight she’d gained during her pregnancies. When I first met her she was a slim size 12 girl with a 34b bust and 34 inch hips. By 1999 she was a size 16 with a 38EE bust and a dazzling big fat wobbly arse. I was in Heaven because I’m a ‘tit-man’ but she hated herself. No matter what diet she went on she never lost enough pounds to please her. In my opinion she was ‘fuller figured’ and gorgeous but she wouldn’t listen to me. Then for 6 months either side of her 30th birthday she went into a real slump – not only did she think she was ‘fat’ she was also going to be OLD! I did what any self-respecting man would do in these circumstances – I did lots of over time at work and also bought a clapped out Mini-Cooper that I spent most nights working on in my garage. Well….I didn’t just work on my car; as my meagre sex life had virtually dwindled away to.
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